If you've been following my blog for some time, you know that my writing often delves into emotionally intense and occasionally dark topics. That's why I truly enjoyed the opportunity to write more freely and inject some fun into my final post of the year! I hope you enjoy!
Wedding cakes are some of the most exquisite and yummy creations. Have you ever attended a wedding, gazed at the stunning cake, and felt an irresistible urge to indulge, only to be let down when the first bite revealed a dry and flavorless cake? A cake can appear absolutely flawless on the outside, but its true quality lies within. The taste depends on the ingredients and the care invested in making it. If a cake looks magnificent but lacks flavor, how impressive is it? Relationships mirror this concept. Think about it, the effort and attention we put into our relationships with others are crucial to their success. Let's chat!
That stunning wedding cake that falls short in flavor and moisture is quite similar to relationships that appear perfect at first glance but lack depth beneath the surface. We’re all familiar with the curated highlight reel that people often present online. You know, the perfect selfies, picturesque trips, and adorable family photos. Hey, I’m guilty too. However, while those aspects are wonderful, they don't capture the complete essence of a healthy romantic relationship or marriage. Just as the true value of a cake lies in its flavor rather than its appearance, a successful relationship relies on the time and effort we invest, rather than how picture-perfect we appear at the pumpkin patch. Today we are going to make our own little love cake! Let’s get to baking.
INGREDIENTS:
FLOUR: First we are going to add flour to our mixing bowl. Flour in a cake serves as the foundation that holds all the ingredients together, much like trust and communication do in a relationship. Just as flour provides structure and stability, allowing the cake to rise and take shape, a strong foundation in a relationship ensures that both partners can grow and thrive together. Without quality flour, a cake may crumble; similarly, without a solid foundation, a relationship may struggle to withstand challenges.
EGGS: Next it’s time to add the eggs.
Eggs in a cake can be likened to communication in a relationship. Just as eggs bind the ingredients in a cake together and provide structure, effective communication connects partners and strengthens their bond. I always say communication is key to any good relationship, especially romantic ones. Failing to express our wants, needs, and feelings to our partners can result in misunderstandings and, at times, resentment. It's important to remember that our loved ones aren’t mind readers. Both eggs and communication are vital for creating a solid foundation whether it’s a yummy cake or a loving relationship.
BUTTER: Butter is up next. Butter elevates the flavor of a cake, evoking sensations of warmth and comfort. Warmth and comfort in a marriage are essential as they nurture genuine intimacy between partners. Neglecting to include butter in your cake will be apparent; it may turn out dry and lacking in richness. Likewise, a marriage that lacks warmth and intimacy can feel lonely and unfulfilling. My husband is truly my best friend. He’s the first person I say good morning to and the last person I say good night to. We love spending quality time together and just goofing off.
OIL: Let’s add some oil to our bowl now to ensure our cake is moist. Oil adds moisture and a tender texture to a cake, preventing it from becoming dry. Similarly, a romantic relationship should bring emotional nourishment, helping to maintain a healthy and vibrant connection.
Just as oil acts as a binding agent that combines the ingredients together, a loving relationship should foster connection between partners. It’s all about creating an environment where both individuals feel supported and loved, similar to how oil enriches the batter. This emotional nourishment comes from shared experiences, open communication, intimate moments, and mutual respect, all of which contribute to a healthy and beautiful connection.
SUGAR:
It's time to sprinkle in the sweetness! Just like sugar enhances the flavor and sweetness of a cake, moments of joy, affection, and fun experiences enrich a partnership. I genuinely believe in the importance of continuing to date your spouse throughout life, especially with the arrival of children. When I first became a parent, I felt a wave of anxiety. I worried that, 18 years later, my husband and I might find ourselves staring at each other, uncertain of our next steps because we had given every ounce of our beings to our children and now had nothing in common. You hear those stories all too often. However, I soon discovered that our kids only enhanced our marriage and strengthened our bond, as long as we occasionally took the time out to just be husband and wife instead of dad and mom. Honestly our children are the biggest part of our love story and we can’t imagine a life without them!
Romance and passion is a big part of any healthy marriage and serves as a positive example for our children of what a healthy and loving relationship looks like. By the way, it does get much easier to connect with your partner when the kids get older. If you are in a season of babies and toddlers, feeling like you are in survival mode, that’s okay. Enjoy this season of life too because take it from me, it goes WAY too fast. Honestly, romance doesn’t require extravagant gestures or grandiose getaways anyway; rather, it’s about the shared experiences and the intimacy you cultivate together.
Baking Soda: Baking soda may be a small ingredient, but its impact on the cake's texture is significant. In a marriage, small gestures of love and kindness can have a profound effect on the overall happiness and satisfaction of the relationship. Also keep in mind that just as the amount of baking soda must be measured accurately in a cake, a marriage requires balance and effort from both partners to ensure that it remains healthy and fufilling. Sometimes it’s the little things we do for our partners that end up meaning the most.
Liquid: Most cakes need a liquid that not only provides moisture but also helps blend the dry ingredients together. Different cakes call for different types of liquids, some use water, while others may require buttermilk or whole milk.
When two individuals combine their lives, it can initially present challenges. Think different backgrounds, values, traditions, and perspectives. Blending these differences requires effort, but it's essential to find common ground in any healthy relationship, recognizing that there is room for both partners' ideas and beliefs!
Flavor: Now that our cake is all mixed up and blended, it’s time to add the flavor, add some fun extras like chocolate chips or sprinkles into the mix. Maybe add some vanilla extract. Much like our diverse tastes in cakes, our preferences in partners also differ. It's crucial to recognize what we desire in a partner and to develop a solid sense of self before embarking on a relationship. Relationships demand continuous effort, but experiencing life alongside a wonderful partner is profoundly fulfilling. While challenges are bound to arise, the joyful and playful moments should ideally surpass the tough ones. You just gotta put in the time and work.
CONCLUSION:
A well-made cake and a good marriage share several key similarities. Both require a solid foundation. Just as flavors of a cake blend together to create something delicious, partners must blend their beliefs and values to build a harmonious life. The process of mixing and baking parallels the effort and commitment needed to nurture a partnership. Finally, both a great cake and a strong relationship benefit from attention to detail, love, and care, leading to a rewarding outcome that can be enjoyed and celebrated!
While I may not be a relationship or marriage expert, that's precisely why I enjoy discussing these topics. As a typical 36-year-old wife and mom, I’m navigating life and love alongside all of you. I might not have all the answers—none of us do—but I can confidently say that, despite our many differences, my husband and I share a magnetic connection that has kept us united through even the toughest of times.
This past year was initially a really difficult year for us. I was dealing with severe and debilitating endometriosis. My husband had to pick up a lot of slack and I know it was a lonely time for him. It was a lonely time for both of us. For awhile we were more roommates than husband and wife. Thankfully by July I was able to experience immense relief from a partial hysterectomy and you better bet my husband was right alongside me during my recovery ❤️🩹
Marriage is a journey filled with its share of highs and lows. There are years that bring us immense joy and others that challenge us in unexpected ways. Through it all, I can wholeheartedly say that my husband and I truly value our time together. We prioritize keeping the excitement alive in our relationship, ensuring that the sparks continue to fly. We enjoy monthly date nights and plan a few weekend getaways each year around birthdays and anniversaries. We also make it a point to set aside time to openly discuss any worries or concerns we may have. One of our newer traditions is record nights in the basement after the kids go to bed. We relax on the couch with some snacks and drinks, listening to great music. Creating memories with our family and friends is super important to us too! We really just enjoy being together and not taking ourselves too seriously.
“A great marriage is not when the perfect couple comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”
-Dave Meurer
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