Keeping the Fire Burning: ReelChat’s Relationship Tips for Lasting Love

I find immense joy in my marriage; it truly serves as the foundation of my adult life. My husband is not just my life partner; he’s also my closest friend, my greatest supporter, and my fierce protector. He is home, and I wouldn’t be where I am today without his unconditional love and support. After 19 years, almost half of my life, I still pinch myself. No one else brings me joy or laughter quite like he does.

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it's all too easy for our relationships to take a back seat—especially when things like work, kids, and sports consume so much of our time. While it hasn’t always been easy, my husband and I have made it a priority to keep dating each other, actively choosing one another amidst life’s chaos. We are both determined to keep that fire going long after the kids leave the nest. In celebration of Valentine's Day, I’ve come up with some practical ways to keep your marriage fun and fresh. Before we dive into this light-hearted post, it's important to note that one of the best ways for couples to maintain that spark is to build their relationship on trust. Trust is crucial for nurturing a healthy relationship. To keep the flame burning, we must feel secure and valued, knowing that our partner is safe and dependable.

Okay, let’s dive in ⬇️💘

1.) MONTHLY DATE NIGHTS

Maintaining a strong connection with your spouse through regular date nights is essential! My husband and I aim for one date night each month, which has become more manageable now that our kids are older. However, I encourage parents with younger children to prioritize these special outings as well. If you lack nearby family support or are on a tight budget, don’t hesitate to ask a friend to babysit. You could even explore starting a babysitting swap with other parents!

While it’s easy to come up with reasons to skip that date night, the benefits far outweigh the excuses. Remember, date nights don’t always require going out. During COVID, my husband and I adapted by having our date nights at home. We’d tuck the kids in, order takeout, and binge Tiger King. There are some great date-night-at-home ideas on YouTube!

2.) SOLO TRIPS

Planning a solo trip once or twice a year can be a wonderful way to strengthen your bond with your partner, free from the distractions of daily life and parenting. My husband and I strive to take at least two weekend trips together each year. Our most recent adventure was just a week ago. We enjoyed an early Valentine's Day weekend in Pittsburgh. These getaways don’t need to be extravagant; even a simple weekend camping trip will do. Taking this time to focus on each other not only helps you reconnect but also sets a positive example for your kids by showing them that prioritizing your relationship is a must!

3.) REMEMBERING WHY

Navigating relationships can be challenging, and marriage often presents its own set of difficulties. You'll inevitably encounter rough patches and tough seasons in your partnership. While the honeymoon phase will fade, reflecting on those early butterflies can reignite the spark. My husband and I sometimes revisit our favorite dates from 18 or 19 years ago. I still cherish the first burnt CD (I am so showing my age) he made for me when we started dating, and I to listen to it now and then. Embracing nostalgia can be truly valuable.

4.) LEARNING EACH OTHER'S LOVE LANGUAGE

There are five primary love languages: physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and gift-giving. It's common for partners to have different love languages, however, it's essential to express love in ways that resonate with your partner. For example, if your love language is words of affirmation but your partner’s is quality time, neglecting to prioritize that time can make them feel less loved and acknowledged. While it's great to compliment them frequently, what they truly desires is more time spent together, as that's how they feel most valued and supported. The same principle applies in reverse, too.

5.) SOMETIMES IT’S THE SMALL THINGS

It's the small gestures that often carry the most significance. When my husband surprises me with my favorite ice cream while he's out running errands, I truly feel loved and appreciated. Similarly, I sometimes stop by the grocery store just to grab his favorite cookies. These simple acts along with helping each other with everyday tasks and chores, speak volumes about our care for one another. Sometimes it's the unexpected compliment or a sweet note left by the nightstand that really resonates. These little moments serve as beautiful reminders of our love amidst the routine and chaos of daily life.

6.) ABSENCE CAN MAKE THE HEART GROW FONDER

Maintaining a strong sense of self within a relationship or marriage is essential. I cherish the time I spend with my husband, but I also value my nights out with girlfriends and the moments I take for myself too. I’ve never understood the couples who insist on doing every single thing together from sunup to sundown. Without some time apart, I wouldn’t have the opportunity to genuinely miss my husband or fully appreciate everything he does for our family!

7.) GETTING OFF THE DEVICES

Technology has infiltrated nearly every aspect of our lives, making me wonder how truly present we can be with our loved ones when we’re constantly staring at screens. To address this, I’ve established a few guidelines: no phones during date nights or at the dinner table, and no screens during family time, like game or movie nights. We’re also considering limiting screen time on Sundays, which applies to our kids too. While it’s easy to get caught up in our devices—especially since they’ve become such a staple in our lives—I believe there are many meaningful ways to connect with our partners without screens.

8.) PRIORITIZING INTIMACY

Let’s face it, life can become hectic and stressful, especially when you have little ones. During challenging times, intimacy often takes a backseat. Just as scheduling date nights can be beneficial, planning intimacy can be equally important, especially when you are not in a season of spontaneity. Open communication with your partner is crucial when discussing this topic (see my last tip :) And I’m not just talking sex here. While physical intimacy is very important, emotional and intellectual intimacy are also important. Intimacy enhances emotional closeness, physical health, and overall relationship satisfaction, making it a fundamental aspect of any successful relationship.

9.) KEEPING IT FUN AND FLIRTY

A flirty little text in the afternoon can really lift spirits when life feels heavy or mundane. So can an importu at home coffee date or perhaps trying a new hobby or exercise class together. Growing up, my parents were great at showing their affection towards one another. While it may have been a bit cringy at times, it's a valuable lesson I've embraced in my own marriage. I secretly hope my kids find my husband and me a little cringy too! It’s funny because I’m not the most touchy-feely person, which often surprises others given my friendly demeanor. However, with my husband, I can’t help but feel a strong pull towards him, and I have no hesitation in holding hands or sharing kisses in front of our kids or others. Just as I want our kids to see us handling disagreements and challenges, I also want them to see us enjoying each other's company and being silly together too. It’s essential for me to show them what a healthy, loving relationship looks like.

10.) PRACTICING GOOD COMMUNICATION

Effective communication about our wants and needs with our partner is essential. This can be particularly challenging for couples when one partner feels unsafe or overlooked. Developing strong communication skills often comes with time and experience. Discussing topics such as intimacy can be especially sensitive for many women. It’s normal to feel a little awkward when addressing these topics; however, if you have a supportive and caring partner, there’s no need for embarrassment or shame. If you're worried about hurting feelings or are unsure how to approach these discussions, consider seeking couples counseling. There’s too much stigma surrounding this subject! Open conversations are crucial to keeping the spark alive in your relationship. Keep in mind there will be times when you feel more like roommates than lovers, and that’s totally normal. Life events such as welcoming a child, grieving a loss, facing trauma, or dealing with illness can impact that romantic spark. It’s natural for the passion to dim at times, and that’s completely okay—it simply means we may need to keep the flame small and safe for a little while, communicating with the our partner along the way!!

So, there you have it, ten effective ways to keep the flame alive in your partnership. While I’m not a relationship expert or counselor—though I often wonder if I should have pursued that path—I genuinely care about supporting fellow women. My passion for strong relationships and the concept of love itself drives me to share my personal insights. My hubby and I have our strengths and weaknesses. We have had some amazing times and some really tough times. Trust me, we are not perfect but through it all, unconditional love has carried us through every season.