Standing by Their Side: A Practical Way to Help Someone with PTSD

I find immense joy in the cathartic writing process, and I cherish revisiting pieces that resonate deeply. My blog celebrates the stories we share and retell and the little lessons we learn along the way. As I mentioned a few months ago, while driving to Chicago with my husband for our anni trip, I experienced a moment that brought my PTSD to the forefront. It struck me then that while PTSD can fade into the background, the impact of trauma remains within us. It made me reflect on a small piece I wrote a while ago for another mental health blogger focused on PTSD advocacy:

“Navigating the challenges of PTSD is a complex journey, but having a strong support system can significantly impact your healing process—potentially even saving your life. My name is Caitlin, and I am a blogger focused on women's mental health and wellness. I frequently share insights about PTSD on my blog, as it's a part of my life that I will likely confront for years to come. After experiencing a traumatic sexual assault in college, I struggled in silence for seven years before seeking help. Although I often yearned to share my truth, I found myself unable to do so—I simply wasn't ready at that time.

I eventually reached a breaking point and embarked on a comprehensive therapy journey that, in many ways, saved my life. I was incredibly fortunate to have a strong support system from the very beginning, with my husband as my primary source of strength. His approach to my situation, filled with love and understanding, is precisely what I would advise anyone supporting someone with PTSD: don’t walk ahead or behind—walk beside them.

Seeking help was challenging for me because I feared burdening others with my struggles. I felt overwhelmed by the idea of exposing my mental health issues, believing they were too heavy for others to bear. What I didn’t realize was that by hiding my pain, I was not only hurting myself but also hurting my family. Rather than being a pillar of strength for others, I felt as though I was dragging everyone down with me. In those moments, my husband’s hand in mine and his assurance that everything would be alright provided the comfort I desperately needed. Instead of responding with judgment or frustration, he approached me with hope and love. He frequently expressed how proud he was of me as I navigated EMDR therapy, and he would check in after my psychiatrist appointments, always ready to listen if I wanted to share. He never once made me feel irrational or inadequate. It’s also important to note that I had the love and support of my family and close friends as well. I’m a very lucky gal.

For those supporting a loved one through the challenging journey of PTSD, my most important piece of advice is to walk alongside them with kindness, empathy, and grace. This approach made a tremendous difference in my life. While I will always carry PTSD with me, it has become much more manageable, and I have discovered a sense of peace and forgiveness regarding my experiences.”

What a meaningful moment to reflect on! Talk about a full-circle moment. I know I talk a lot about my husband but it’s because he plays such a crucial role in my life—my steadfast partner, my bestie, my lover, my soul mate. When we said our vows, we became a true team, intertwining our lives and hearts into one shared love.

Our challenges became unified; my struggles were his, and his were mine. I once felt guilty about that. Living with mental illness is no easy journey, but does that mean I’m unworthy of love or companionship? These days, I’m feeling very stable, and I have learned to identify the signs of an impending episode and how to seek support. But it wasn’t always like this. In my darkest times, when I felt as if I were sinking in quicksand, my husband was always there, extending his hand without conditions—just his unwavering love. I remember early on in our marriage suggesting he should divorce me, believing he and the kids deserved better, but for him, that was never an option. He often reminds me that he saw my true self long before I did. He has always seen the real me beneath my struggles, believing in my potential and our journey together. Since 2007, we’ve been nurturing this beautiful love, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Whatever trauma you may be facing, I'm cheering for you. Don’t hesitate like I did—reach out to a family member or friend, join a support group, or give counseling a try. Take it from me, seeking help isn’t weak, it’s actually the strongest thing you can do.