ReelChatter: Keeping That Spark Alive

As a follow-up to Keeping the Fire Burning: ReelChat’s Relationship Tips for Lasting Love, four fellow ReelChatters are weighing in on this important topic. Let’s chat:

ReelChatter 1:

“Working, kids, and just life in general can get very busy and it can get difficult at times to prioritize your marriage but it’s important to do so. Even if it’s just spending time together once the kids are in bed and watching a show or just talking (which ends up being about funny things the kids did that day sometimes 😂). It’s important to dedicate some of your day to spending one on one time with your significant other as a way to reconnect. Date nights are great too but when you’re in the stage of life when you’re unable to get away often, it’s important to find other ways at home to spend time together.”

ReelChatter 2:

“My marriage hasn’t been easy, and I don’t say that with regret — I say it with honesty. Loving someone deeply while learning how to stay true to yourself is a lifelong balancing act, especially when you’re raising children side by side. There have been seasons of growth, tension, compromise, and rebuilding, and each one has taught me something about partnership. I’ve learned that love isn’t just about staying — it’s about evolving together without losing who you are.

What keeps the spark alive? For me, keeping the spark alive isn’t about grand gestures—it’s about choosing each other in the small, ordinary moments, even when marriage feels hard. It’s learning how to grow together without losing yourself, laughing through the storms, and celebrating the little wins. The spark lives in silly tickle fights, sneaky bum grabs, holding hands, and those quiet late-night moments—like slipping into the garage after the girls are asleep to play a few rounds of solitaire together. In the end, it’s the simple, intentional ways we stay connected that keep love warm and alive.” 💛

ReelChatter 3:

“It’s no secret that life is busy no matter what stage you and your spouse are in. My husband and I met in college, got married shortly after graduating, had three children, run our own businesses, and are now approaching fifteen years of marriage. Surely you’re thinking we’ve settled into the category of divide and conquer roommates as it is all too easy to fall into that category when in fact I feel more connected to my husband than ever.

You see, it’s all about continuing to pursue each other, not comparing your relationship to the very beginning. Being married does not mean you stop dating. It does not give you a pass to put each other on the back burner. Continue to prioritize each other. Do small gestures for each other and stop making excuses for why you don’t. When you feel like you have nothing left to give, give! If your baby woke up at 2:00 in the morning crying would you not go to them even if you are feeling tired? Of course you would! While your husband may not be crying on the outside for your attention, he is longing for it on the inside as are you in return. It is important to remember all aspects of intimacy. It’s not just about what goes on in the bedroom. It’s the emotional aspect as well. How you talk and treat each other. Improvements in those areas will ultimately trickle into the bedroom.

The relationship with your spouse is truly like no other. It is the one family member that you get to choose and create more family with. How special is that?! Don’t forget the worth of each other and you will continue to fall in love with each other all over again and again.”

ReelChatter 4:

My partner and I have been together for 22 years, and she is truly the love and light of my life. When we first got together, I honestly thought being in a same-sex relationship would make things easier. I figured we’d naturally communicate well, understand each other’s emotions, and have this effortless deep connection since we could relate to so much as women. But the truth is, I don’t think it matters if you’re gay or straight—relationships can be hard sometimes.

I’m definitely the quieter one. I need my downtime and a little space to recharge. My partner, on the other hand, thrives on being busy and around people. She loves the energy of it all. I guess opposites really do attract.

Over the past 22 years, we’ve had our share of ups and downs. Thankfully, more ups than downs. But when we’ve been down, we’ve been really down. Two people with big feelings and a streak of passive-aggressiveness can turn small issues into full-blown blowups if we’re not careful.

If I had to give two pieces of advice for keeping the spark alive, they’d be these:

1. Water your own grass, because it’s usually not greener somewhere else. Put time and effort into each other. It’s so easy to fall into routines and accidentally start feeling more like roommates than partners. We’ve definitely been there.

2. Choose each other, even on the hard days. Especially on the hard days. When life feels overwhelming or messy, lean in instead of pulling away. Building that kind of trust creates a deeper intimacy than anything else. I truly believe that.